cranky holiday card that never was

The company holiday card that never was

Back when I was a young copywriter in 1992 or ’93, I was asked to write the company holiday card. This was no small honor—the place employed six or seven hundred people, so there would be a lot of eyes on it.

To be honest, I didn’t relish the assignment. Even then, I was a hard-core direct response writer; I didn’t dabble in poetry or creative writing much if at all.

So writing an inspiring and heart-felt holiday verse was a challenge for me. I felt like a break-dancer trying to ballet.

After several hours of struggle, however, it happened—a Christmas miracle! Like snowflakes swirling in a gusty wind, the words flew together to form a verse that was not only not totally embarrassing—it could almost pass for good.

I felt ecstatic. Or at least extremely relieved.

Alas, my euphoria was short lived. When I showed it to the graphic designer, he didn’t like it.

“It sounds too feminine,” he said.

This from a man who may well have inspired the word “metrosexual,” soon to be coined in 1994. (Freebird, if you’re reading this, I love you, man! You always did dress great.)

I felt deflated. I did everything I could to convince him. But try as I might, he wasn’t buying it.




In the end, we wound up doing a die-cut card in the shape of holiday sugar cookies with a contest-winning recipe on the back. There was a little verse inside, but as far as I was concerned it didn’t hold a candle to my earlier work.

Fast-forward 25-plus years. Now, thanks to my pack-rat mentality and the power of the Internet, this long-lost little verse will finally see the light of day.

You can see it below along with a nifty illustration drawn by the designer.

Happy holidays!

Softly Glowing company holiday card verse

Happy holidays from The Cranky Creative!

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Got a holiday wish or other thoughts to share? Post them below!

4 comments

  1. Ha! I remember all that. Wasn’t the card scented, too? I seem to recall, the customers weren’t exactly thrilled about the cookie scent; it overpowered all the good things about the card. Live and learn…

    1. Mike, what a memory you have! I’d completely forgotten about that. Wow, those were funny days. Just don’t mention the “treats” I brought in during production of the Mexico catalog. Merry Christmas, my friend!

    1. Thanks, Secret Santa! “When you care enough to send the very best,” you ought not have a direct response copywriter write your card. Ha!

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