In 2011, a manager asked me if I had a blog, or if I’d ever considered writing one. “No,” I snorted dismissively. “I don’t have anything to say.”
My, how times have changed.
Today, I have a voice and I’m using it to speak out — as an advocate for creatives, as a critic of bad advertising, and as a truth seeker beholden to no one. In a world where corporate workplaces are lousy with backbiting and ass-covering; where every marketer is a self-proclaimed guru or “thought leader;” where dopey gags and computer-generated visual effects have replaced the Big Idea and “likability” and “awareness” have become more important than real results — The Cranky Creative blog is here, calling bullshit on the bullshit and having some laughs along the way.
Regular readers will know that I haven’t published as many posts this past year, and for that I do apologize. I’ve been extremely busy doing good work for great clients, and that’s about as happy an excuse for my truancy as I could ever imagine.
As it happens, it’s also a good reason for you to subscribe to the blog if you haven’t already. That way, when a new Cranky post does land, you will be among the first to know.
Now, without further ado, let’s celebrate three years of Cranky fun by taking a look back at some of this blog’s best and most popular posts.
If you see something you like, please share it with friends and colleagues. Have a suggestion or a topic you’d like me to cover? Send an email to rob@thecrankycreative.com or post a comment below.
Thank you for reading!
The best of The Cranky Creative
No one wants Liberty Mutual’s wet teddy bears
What’s the worst TV commercial you’ve ever seen? For my money, it’s got to be Liberty Mutual’s wet teddy bears. If the real purpose of this ad isn’t to wake people up to the fact that we are all living in a real-life Truman Show, then let’s just end it all with an extinction-level asteroid strike now.
Yes, the Gillette Venus Pubic Hair and Skin razor ad goes (down) there
With this ad, Gillette and its advertising agency dropped trou in our homes and, before we could yell “I’d rather go blind!”, shoved our faces nose-deep into this woman’s stubbly crotch. And not just our faces, but also those of our kids, our grandkids, our parents, and anyone else with whom we’d been unfortunate enough to be watching TV. The good news, I suppose, is that even long-time Gillette buyers complained loudly. The bad news is, I can’t unsee those whiskers.
Yes, the Gillette Venus Pubic Hair and Skin razor ad goes (down) there
Brands have no business pushing COVID vaccines
I wrote this post knowing full well that Big Tech would suppress it, my site traffic would take a hit, and I’d draw flack from readers. But I did it anyway because I knew that for many of you, this might be your only chance to encounter this important and unsettling information.
So do me a favor, yeah? If you read just one post linked from this page, make it this one. Since its original publish date, I’ve updated the post with loads of info and must-see videos featuring Dr. Robert Malone (inventor of mRNA vaccine technology), Dr. Peter McCollough (a renowned cardiologist), Dr. Ryan Cole, and more. This is looking to be some serious shit.
Ad Review: Simplisafe’s ‘Robbert’ commercials sell the product short
I love SimpliSafe. The company’s home security systems are easy to use, effective, and affordable. But these ads? Oh, are they bad. Who the hell at SimpliSafe decided that having a burglar as the brand’s spokesman was a smart idea?
Ad Review: Simplisafe’s ‘Robbert’ commercials sell the product short
Sorry, Cranky readers, but I like the Allstate “Smooth” ad
In beautiful contrast to so many boorish ads that aim to get our attention through cacophonous noise and dumb jokes, Allstate’s 60-second “Smooth” commercial communicates its message with style, grace, and subtle humor. Its smart creative rolls by like poetry in motion as agency Droga5 NY and director Ringan Ledwidge quietly set a standard by which all other TV commercials can be judged.
Book Review: Bob Garfield’s ‘And Now a Few Words from Me’
Readers often ask me to recommend books on advertising. If you have even a passing interest in the ad world, you need to put Bob Garfield’s And Now a Few Words from Me at the top of your reading list, right now, today. It’s fun, fascinating, and as close to “truth in advertising” as we’re ever going to get.
What’s on your work music playlist?
No matter why you listen to music at work — for productivity, relaxation, or creativity — you may very well find your new favorite song or sound machine here. Sample some tracks and share your own!
Perennial Cranky favorites
These posts are older, but they are popular enough — and important enough — to mention again.
Business buzzwords and corporate jargon I hate
The corporate world runs on business jargon — bullshitty buzzwords that mask the meaning of the things we want to say. How many of these eyeroll-causing words and expressions do you hear at work? Feel free to share examples of your own.
Hey, advertisers! People hate you, and you deserve it
Advertising has never been more intrusive and annoying. In this post, I run down the reasons why advertisers have lost viewers’ trust, reveal the secret to regaining our attention, and share a real-life example of a client who was unscrupulous, too. As a bonus, you’ll find links to consumer-protection resources you can use to report advertisers who behave badly.
Ear-ritating: How TV commercials use sound to get our attention
Sound is a powerful tool in advertising. I know, because it raises my blood pressure daily. This post names and shames advertisers who misuse the power of audio to create truly obnoxious ads.
(Did you know there is a style of advertising voiceover known among voice actors as the “fuck-you” read? It’s true!)
New Year’s resolutions for TV advertisers
One of my favorite posts, this is a goldmine for any advertiser that wants to do better. If brands and their ad agencies would but heed the nine suggestions contained herein, watching television would become so much more enjoyable — and many brands would be so much better liked.
Why I love graphic designers (and why your brand needs a good one)
Graphic designers make the advertising world go round. How much do I love them? In this post, I count the ways.
Anxiety and creativity: How they’re linked, tips to cope
One terrible night in 2015, I had an anxiety attack — the first of my life. In this post, I explore the link between creative people and anxiety, and offer tips to help keep the demons at bay.
“Should I quit my job?” 16 signs it’s time to move on
If you are so unhappy at work that you find yourself Googling “Should I quit my job?”, then Houston, you have a problem. Here are 16 signs it may be time to move on.
(Don’t miss the must-watch video of Steve Jobs delivering his commencement speech to the graduates of Stanford University in 2005. No exaggeration — it changed my life.)
The Cranky Creative is just getting started
Since setting out as a freelance copywriter and blogger in 2018, I’ve never been happier. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot to be cranky about in the advertising world. So I’ll be here, exposing bad practices and giving a voice to creatives and TV-watching consumers as best I can.
To all my faithful readers, thank you for reading and sharing your comments. I love hearing from you, whether you agree or disagree with what this old crank has to say. So, stick around — the fun is just getting started!
Below: As Jack Nicholson’s Joker said of Gotham City in 1989’s Batman, so I say of the advertising industry: “This town needs an enema!”
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Happy 3rd birthday CC! Many more … Really enjoy your blog and want to thank you for sharing the videos and the truth that has been suppressed about the Covid madness and insane pro”vaccine” advertising. I’m old enough to remember when ads just sold soap, laundry detergent and such. Great info!
Thanks, Cinzia! And I appreciate your comment about the vaccines post. It’s not an easy topic, but it needs to be covered. The suppression of this information, and of so many top doctors and scientists, is scandalous.
Happy 3rd birthday to a blog worth reading!
Thank you!
Cranky Birthday!
Thank you, Joe! Hope all is well with you.