Please, do not “hit me up” on a Friday afternoon

I hate receiving job requests on Fridays.

I work hard all week, and by the time Friday rolls around, I just want to see all of my current jobs through to a successful finish. Truly, the last thing I want is to get hit with some new out-of-the-blue project that I can’t possibly touch until Monday.

And, come on, let’s be honest: Most Friday-afternoon job requests are flaming bags of excrement left on our doorsteps by people who filled those bags with blunders and lit the matches with a lack of planning.

So save it for Monday, OK? Let me enjoy a few precious hours at the end of the week when my hair is not on fire and I don’t have five amateur proctologists climbing up my ass. Allow me a chance to clear the decks a little before the next big deluge on Monday. Everyone expects Mondays to suck anyway, so you may as well save your new job for then.

Besides, I’d rather not think about your new job over the weekend. (Fun fact: the Sunday Night Blues are real.)

Now, lest you think I’m just cranky, I mentioned this to several friends and acquaintances — none of whom, by the way, are marketers or creative professionals of any kind — and I was struck by the intensity and consistency of their responses.

One even shared a sad little joke about it:

What are the five words no one wants to hear on Friday? “Thank God you’re still here.”

Good grief. How can people be so oblivious? Have these job requestors never read a Dilbert comic or seen the movie Office Space?

“Mmmmm, yeah. Hey. I know it’s Fridayyy, but here’s what I have planned for you on Mmmmondayyy.”

If this doesn’t bother you, then congratulations! You are part of the problem.

I feel the same way about meetings. If you schedule a meeting for a Friday afternoon, it had better involve cake or beer.

Speaking of meetings. How many good reasons can you think of to schedule a meeting for the first thing on a Monday morning? (Maybe, say, to announce your exciting new project?)

If you schedule a meeting for the first thing in the morning — on a Monday or any other day of the week — you had better have a damn good reason. Because no one wants to wake up in the morning, go to work, and get sucked straight into a meeting.

At the very least, give people time to settle in, grab some caffeine and gird their loins before you hijack their day like some kind of crazed corporate terrorist.

Why not show your colleagues a little consideration?

Look, this isn’t complicated. Most of us are adults — hard-working professionals who can be trusted to do our jobs without all the pomp and spectacle and commotion.

Give us a break, OK?

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Do you know people who assign new work on Friday afternoons, or who schedule meetings for first thing in the morning? What the hell is wrong with them, anyway? Share your thoughts below.

Note: This post was written when I worked as someone’s employee. Now that I freelance full-time, I dig getting new jobs whenever. It’s all good when every day is your own!

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