Hey, advertisers! People hate you, and you deserve it

Tired of junk mail? Of too-loud commercials blasting your ears? How about those full-screen pop-up ads you can’t close until you play an asshole game of “Click the Tiny X If You Can Find It”?

Yeah, no wonder even advertisers say they hate advertising.

Isn’t it ironic? Marketing people are trained to think in terms of “consumer pain points.” But these days, advertisers ARE the pain point.

Advertising today is more pervasive, annoying, and intrusive than ever. A lot of it isn’t just bad, it’s galactically stupid. Worse yet, it’s malicious—like a virus that’s infected our lives.

I swear, every damn day:

• • I click on a link that chokes my laptop with a glut of ads, pop-ups, and auto-playing videos that guarantee I will never see the content I wanted.
  • I reach into my mailbox and pull out handfuls of dreck—previously, living trees—that I don’t want, and that isn’t relevant to me.
  • TV commercials assault my ears with soundtracks cranked to what seems like twice the volume of the programming I have paid to watch.

Meanwhile, my parents, now in their 70s and 80s, get half a dozen phone calls every day from telemarketers peddling unsolicited offers and scams. Caller ID doesn’t help. Most of the numbers are disguised as local calls. Blocking them isn’t an option because it’s never the same number twice.

No wonder “consumers are jaded” (as ad executives would say). No wonder people are angry. Day in and day out, our lives are interrupted by dumb ads and slimy tricks designed to invade our space, command our attention, track our movements, and badger us until we buy.

It’s more than grating. It’s obnoxious, uncivilized, and anti-consumer.

Advertisers have broken our trust

In an article titled “Advertisers have broken their social contract,” former copywriter Aaron Bateman laments how the rise of digital ad tech has led to abusive tactics such as retargeting and a reduced focus on big ideas in favor of direct response marketing designed to bludgeon us into buying.

I would argue that advertisers have not simply “broken” the social contract, but torn it to shreds, set it on fire, and scattered the ashes to the wind.

As far back as 2009, agency owner Jeff Goodby wrote in Advertising Age, “We are becoming irrelevant award-chasers.” Today, many agency leaders and creatives seem to have lost interest in their clients, the consumer, and the important job of selling. Instead, they are focused on “being creative,” winning awards, and getting famous. Some have convinced themselves that they are creating works of art.

These are not the reasons why clients pay agencies.

Clients pay agencies to help them make their brands more visible, more well liked, and better remembered. To provide a good experience and oh, yeah!—also to sell the product.

“If it doesn’t sell, it isn’t creative.” —David Ogilvy

It’s so simple, you have to wonder how so many advertisers are botching the job so badly.

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See the latest Liberty Mutual Ad Review: Zoltar, hair plugs, and other bad ideas

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Below: Clownish “humor” (I use the word loosely) and a brain-dead jingle make Liberty Mutual commercials some of the worst on TV. Read the Cranky review.

Below: This TV commercial from Little Ceasars is just embarrassing. (Full review here.)

Below: Does the taste of Sprite Lymonade really turn people into dancing automatons?

Marketers need a mind shift

People who work in advertising need to forget their egomaniacal fantasies of being loved and admired like rock stars or Hollywood celebrities.

Seriously, get over yourselves. We don’t care.

Unless you are an interruptive advertiser, that is. (And most of you are.) In that case, to us, what you really are is an asshole.

That’s right. As the uninvited salesperson who disrupts us in the middle of doing things we enjoy—watching videos, reading the news, living our lives—you are a total asshole.

How’s that for a mind shift?




Oh, relax. It’s not all bad. If you think about it, this is actually a much more productive mindset from which you can start.

Because now you have to wonder, how do you make amends? What can you possibly do to make up for being such a ginormous, inconsiderate tool?

If you’re smart, you’ll think twice about acting a fool. Potential buyers may listen more closely if you look and sound like an adult who has something worthwhile to say.

Perhaps you could offer something useful. Relevant information, maybe, or a way to save time or money. Short of that, a bit of humor might hold our attention.

No, not the braying idiocy everyone has come to expect from ads today. Think a wink and a nod, not a clown sharting its pants.

Remember, you must hold our interest carefully, like a butterfly alit on the palm of your hand. Try not to make any loud noises or sudden, jerkwad movements. It won’t take much to scare us away.

And remember, too, that people tend to buy based on their own self-interest. Most of us do not buy simply because we like an ad. We buy because we want or need something. As an advertiser, you stand a better chance of making the sale if you leave us with memorable ideas and positive feelings about the brand.

To recap:

> Know your role.
> Respect the consumer.
> Offer value.
> Provide a positive experience.

As a marketer myself for nearly 30 years, I think advertisers have a responsibility to do these things.

But clients can be unscrupulous, too

Last year while working at a direct marketing agency, I pitched two concepts that positioned the client as a friendly expert offering helpful solutions in an honest manner unlike anything else in the industry.

What did the client choose instead? Two bullshit ideas based on trickery and deception, designed to prey on the ignorance of the mailing’s most gullible recipients.

One concept would be made to look like official government correspondence. The other was disguised as an invoice that was due to be paid.

Yeah, the client loved those. My marketing and account managers loved those. The copywriters who pitched those ideas sounded incredibly self-satisfied for having pulled these tired tropes from their bags of dirty marketing tricks.

This is the stuff that gives marketers a bad name.

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Below: Video ads on social media are all the rage today. But they can be so much better than this. Hey, Progressive! You made me look. Now what? I hate you. (You can click the image to see the full tweet with video, but I don’t recommend it.)

Advertisers, it’s time to clean up your act

It’s high time for advertisers to rebuild the trust people used to have in them, to restore some honor to the profession and dignity to the work.

You need to show us that you respect our time, our intelligence, our privacy and our peace of mind.

You need to stop killing your credibility with cynical sales pitches disguised as heartfelt sentiments and social consciousness.

You need to work once again to earn our attention by giving us good reasons to engage with your brands and buy your products and services.

Will it happen?

It won’t be easy. Says Bateman: “Short of a near-total reordering of our industry, there are no solutions.”

If there is a solution, I suspect it lies with us, the consumers.

We need to hold advertisers accountable for the messages they create.

We need to tell advertisers what tactics we will accept and when they are abusing our trust.

We need to remind them that the job of marketing is not simply to sell, but to serve.

And if they don’t listen, then we need to vote with our wallets so they hear us loud and clear.

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Links to consumer protection resources

Here’s something else we can do: report bad-faith advertisers to the federal agencies that are supposed to protect us from them. I’ve started a list below. If you know of more, drop me a line.

Reporting too-loud TV commercials

Federal Communications Commission (FCC) rules require TV commercials to have the same average volume as the programs they accompany. The page at this link contains information about the Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation (CALM) Act and instructions for filing a complaint.
https://www.fcc.gov/media/policy/loud-commercials

Stopping unsolicited mail, email, and telephone calls

This Federal Trade Commission (FTC) page provides links, addresses, and phone numbers for companies and agencies to help you cut down on the number of unsolicited mailings, calls, and emails you receive. https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0262-stopping-unsolicited-mail-phone-calls-and-email

See all Cranky ad reviews | Go back to blog home page.

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What do you think about advertising and the industry today? Sound off in the comments below.