Florida update #1: So far, so friendly

We’d just rolled into town — my wife and I, our two cats, and little else — when we stopped into Wal-Mart to buy a few items for our new home. “I like your dress!” a friendly young lady called to Adrianna as we walked in. My wife thanked her. “You’re welcome, ma’am!” came the chirpy reply. Adrianna and I gaped at each other, our eyes wide, and she mouthed the precise words I was thinking: We are in a different world.

More than a week later, I’m thrilled to say it wasn’t a fluke.

Life is different here in Florida. People are different, more laid-back. There are more smiles and friendly greetings. Fewer face masks and suspicious looks, or — just as tiresome — blank NPC stares.

“Hello, sir.” “Thank you, sir.” “How can I help you, sir?” I may not look genteel, but I do appreciate being called something other than “dude” or “man” when I go out.

And “sir” is just the start. Floridians of the female persuasion (you know, the ones who can have babies) have so far called me “sweetie,” “love,” “baby,” “hon,” “darlin’” and many more. Not everyone may appreciate it, but I love it.

I also love that so many service employees, right up to and including the oppressed and underpaid fast-food workers we keep hearing about, are so courteous and socially functional.

Compared to up north, where I regularly found myself hoping to be helped by someone who was capable of simply fogging a mirror, most people here have a personality and seem to enjoy talking with customers.

Maybe it’s the weather. The sunshine is brilliant and soul-restoring. Or maybe it’s because people here haven’t been locked down for two years, their psyches battered and bruised by a constant barrage of fearmongering over a flu with a 98.2 percent survival rate.

Maybe this is just how things are in the South.

Whatever the reason, folks here seem happier. Less angry and more engaged. I get the sense that life in Florida is continuing on just as it had prior to 2020 when COVID-craziness took over the world.

In our little town outside of Tampa, life feels the way I remember it. American flags and other patriotic symbols are everywhere — outside homes, inside businesses, on shirts and hats. Let me tell you, they’re a welcome change from the BLM signs and graffiti tags I’d never gotten used to seeing all over Moscow West — my pet name for Madison, Wisconsin.

Related: Son of a beach! The Cranky Creative moves to Florida

Even the advertising is different. The other day, we visited a nearby credit union. Inside, the big LCD screens were filled with the radiant smiles of attractive models who looked as natural as they did friendly — a striking contrast to the painfully obvious “diversity checkbox” photography I’ve seen shoehorned into ads for banks such as BMO Harris.

Not that the credit union ads lacked diversity — they did not. But they were so well put together, with the focus so clearly on creating alluring marketing rather than on conspicuously representing specific ethnicities, that I expect they do their jobs exceptionally well, even if most people never notice how perfectly inclusive they are.

Settling into our new home

Alas, it hasn’t been all wine and roses.

Our first night in the house was kind of a debacle. The previous owners had turned off the electricity several days before our arrival, so we had no lights, no air-conditioning, and 87-degree heat — that was the indoor thermostat reading — in which to try and sleep on the hardwood floors. (We had no furniture and barely any possessions as our moving truck was not scheduled to arrive for another five days.)

After a 26-hour cross-country trek with two very unhappy cats, I pretty much wanted to kill myself.

What saved me was the bath. That room-temperature water felt like Heaven to me, and soaking lazily in that tub was probably the only reason (other than pure exhaustion) I was able to get any sleep at all.

We had other problems. Again, the lack of electricity meant that the pool pump hadn’t been operating, and a bit of yellow algae had begun to grow in the water.

So much for cooling off with a nice dip in our pool.

Thankfully, the friendly folks at the electric company responded promptly to my emergency call the next morning (a Sunday), and they got our power back on in a flash.

From the moment we heard our air-conditioner kick on, we knew that the worst was over and things would only get better — and they have.

Getting better every day

Waking up every morning in a bedroom with cathedral ceilings overlooking a shimmering blue swimming pool doesn’t hurt, of course. But, just over a week on, I am well on my way to adapting to life in Florida and we have many reasons to feel fortunate.

For example:

• I now know a thing or two about pool chemistry, and I’ve learned how to work and maintain the equipment.
• I’m rocking the outdoor pesticide applications and I’ve made friends with a bunch of little lizards.
• We’ve discovered a gorgeous little Mexican restaurant near our home with authentic food that’s out of this world.
• Right next door to that is, hands-down, the best Chinese food I have ever had.
• I’ve discovered the mother of all classic rock radio stations, 107.3 The Eagle.
• I now have a dedicated home office with a desk, dual monitors, a chair with actual lumbar support, and a view of palm trees outside my window.
• I no longer have to pay state taxes on my income. I just got a 5-percent raise!

Best of all — my clients, who have been so patient and understanding with me throughout this move, are eager to start sending me work again.

So yes, I think it’s safe to say we feel at home here. Already, Florida is doing my cranky heart good.

See all Cranky ad reviews | Go to blog home page

---

What’s on your mind, Cranky reader? Share your thoughts below.