A Cranky Creative Thanksgiving

This week, I share my thoughts on a recent freelance copywriting assignment and the things I’m thankful for this year . . .

Happy Thanksgiving, my fellow creatives! It’s November and I am coming off a tough turkey of a job assignment. It really stressed me out.

All seemed great at first: big company, gorgeous campus, cool people. The creative manager (a fellow copywriter) was super.

But it’s true what they say. A few bad apples can spoil the whole damn bunch.

What happened?

It was week two and I was asked to write a handful of paid search and paid social ads.

Easy-peasy, I thought.

The creative brief specified ads for Google, Bing, and Facebook. No further specifications were provided, but the Internet exists, right? So I searched Google for the latest character and line limits. I was excited to see that AdWords had recently added a third available line of 90 characters.

I went to work, optimizing my copy for each specific platform. AdWords. Bing. Facebook.

Bing, bang, boom. Done!

Then it all went sideways.

The client didn’t want separate copy for Bing, they said. “We just use the same copy as AdWords.”

They didn’t want copy built on the latest ad specs. “Just write ads that look like these [examples we didn’t show you before].”

They hated the Facebook copy. “Can you write these to be more conversational? Make them like organic social.”

Twenty hours and numerous rewrites later, almost nothing of my writing remained.

And still the changes kept coming. By that point, these people were rewriting their own copy.

It was excruciating. What an awful waste of time to make the copy less effective than what I originally gave them.

And that’s how it was working with that team.

Ten weeks later, my stress and anxiety levels were through the roof. I’m still not over it. I want to touch a keyboard like I want to touch a hot stove.

But this is the season to count our blessings, and I have plenty so I am going to focus on those.

This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for . . .

My fiance. For 14 years, my dearest Adrianna has blessed me with her grace, beauty, generosity and love. Next year, we will marry on a beach in Florida. Soulmates are real, and I have found mine.

My health. I’d like to lose a few pounds, and I’m working on it. (But I do love my Surly Furious.) Thank God I’m not bothered by a major illness.

My home. It’s no castle, but it’s comfortable and filled with love.

My family. My mom and dad are good people who love me and do their best for me. I need to talk more with my sister, who lives in another part of the country.

My furry friends. I’m a firm believer in cat-therapy. We lost our beloved Chloe this year (bless her sweet heart), but newcomer Mochi (named after a Japanese ice cream dessert) does his best to help keep us smiling. That beautiful gorilla in the middle is Shakespeare, my first cat.

My amazing colleagues, past and present. I’ve met some wonderful people over the years. Talented and funny designers like Rochelle and Liz. Smart and dependable leaders like Chris and Stephanie. Inspiring mentors like Mike and Lisa. And many more. You know who you are.

My incompetent colleagues. I have worked for—and with—a lot of boobs. Some didn’t know any better. Others did, and ravaged the workplace with merry abandon. To you, I say thanks. I learned a lot from you, as you showed me daily what not to do and how not to be. I’d say you know who you are, but you probably don’t.

My “other” car. My 1989 Cranky Camaro is a cherry-red beaut, and she brings me joy and calm as we cruise the country back roads.

My sound machine. I suffer from tinnitus (pronounced TIN-ih-tus), a persistent ringing in the ears. It really sucks. It’s especially bothersome when I’m anxious. One day, Adrianna brought me a Homedics SoundSpa and it’s helped me to sleep when the ringing is extra loud. (I also find comfort in the sound of a loud clock, as the rhythmic ticking gives me an external stimulus to focus on.)

The TV mute button. To shut out those goddamn stupid commercials.

My video games. From the moment I first saw interactive pixels on a TV screen—I can’t remember if it was the Coleco Telstar (a Pong clone) or Atari VCS—I was hooked. Years later, I would run a gaming-focused website called Inside Gamer and nearly took a job writing at Imagine Media Publishing, home of the IGN gaming sites and my beloved Next Generation magazine. (My very first freelance piece was an article I wrote for IGN about the Nintendo 64 game console in 1997.)

80s and 90s hair bands. Dokken, Warrant, Winger, Skid Row. Could music get any better? No. These bands were the soundtrack of my youth and they still get a ton of playtime.

Spell checker (but not autocucumber). I’ve always been pretty conscientious about my spelling, but that little red wavy line takes away some pressure. I hate autocucumber, though.

Fluffy pillows. I love the feel of soft, cool pillows, and I always sleep with several. Adrianna can’t stand having all those pillows in the bed, but I love her all the more for putting up with them.

Alcohol. I mentioned the Surly beer. Also wine, vodka, and gin and tonic. Drinking helps, OK?

Excedrin. Work (and alcohol) gives me headaches, and Excedrin does the trick.

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Happy Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for this year? Post a reply below.

Here’s a bonus Winger video to end this post. Enjoy! (And please share this site with your fellow creatives.)

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